I’m a woman (Originally written by Soozie) who has been accused of being more passionate about baseball than I am about my past boyfiends. That may be true (where are you, Mr. Right?) but it doesn’t mean I’m unable to spot a smokin’ hot baseball player when I see one.
An unidentified Fox Sports analyst has recently come up with a list of the Top 10 Hottest Baseball Players. What the requirements were to land on this list, I have no idea. It’s so incredibly wrong in so many ways, I felt the need to speak out about it.
Jimmy Rollins, Barry Zito and Ichiro Suzuki as your top three? Umm, no.
Just because Barry and Bronson Arroyo play the guitar does not make them hot. Also, Marco Scutaro? Good lord, lady. Guess who was not on the almighty list of sex appeal? Man Muscles. Yeah, I was pretty much disgusted by that. Now, I know 99% of our readers are male, but just bear with me here. You don’t have to bat for the other team to know when a guy is good-looking, right? Right.
I think it’s time this chick goes to school. So, I’ve compiled my own List of Baseball Hotness as a rebuttal – to set a new standard among female fans — since 90% of my picks are not even on her list… and I’d like to think I have pretty great taste in men. (You know, besides every one I’ve ever dated, especially the last guy.) Sadly, Paul Greco did not make the list despite his rapping style and his lame attempt to flex his biceps in his FP911 rap video.
Click to enlarge. Rawr.
10. Mark Kotsay.
9. Rick Ankiel.
8. Grady Sizemore. (The only guy we agreed upon.)
7. Johan Santana.
6. Curtis Granderson.
5. Evan Longoria.
4. Ryan Braun.
3. Jeff Francoeur.
2. Joe Mauer.
1. Chase Utley.
Honorable Mention: Gabe Kapler‘s body. Yikes.
Now that I’ve got that off my chest, maybe next time we’ll discuss the Top 10 hottest, half-naked female Red Sox fans or something.